Show Summary

We pause to consider what we’ve learned about Emotional Labor. Laura digs deeper into the problems she’s encountered because of the connection she made between work ethic and approval (and perhaps more importantly, disapproval). Leslie shares the same, but in connection with growing up in a very conservative Christian household before discovering what grace really means (and how it helps him do the dishes… really). Then we discuss male role models, and what may or may not be part of the feminist conversation. And of course, we close with Heart Loop – the things we do to improve our marriage and champion each other.

Show Resources

Posted by Leslie Camacho


  1. I empathize with Leslie in his trouble understanding feminism. I think the problem is that THIS kind of thing:

    “Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women’s movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage.” “ – Sheila Cronin, leader of the feminist organization NOW

    makes the papers/TV/radio/etc. and rational people espousing reasonable changes in how things are done don’t get the press.

    Sadly, many folks equate advancing young females with quashing young males – it’s going on all over the place, and the results are quite clear. It’s sad, but denying that it’s going on is not going to bring us to a solution – don’t know that anyone here denies it, but there is a LOT of denial out there.

    It’s a little like the election — who gets the most press? The loudest, most outrageous and abusive candidate….not the serious thinkers who are actually working on solving problems rather than throwing bombs.

    Our culture is a mess.



    1. Hi Earl,

      I didn’t explain my position on feminism very clearly. I am in the Hell Yes, I’m a Feminist camp.

      Also, you are over complicating your understanding of feminism. Like most things involving people, there are extremists, which you are quoting. But the actual definition of feminism is just this.

      1. The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
      2. Organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

      That’s it, straight from Merriam-Webster’s definition.

      Sarah Bunting has a beautiful, simple essay on it, Yes You Are.

      The person you are quoting is also a feminist, but with an extreme opinion on it. You are safe to call yourself a feminist and vehemently disagree with her on marriage, which I do. You are a biologist who disagrees with evolution, so I know you understand the concept.

      What I was asking for are positive examples of feminist men in pop culture. That’s much harder to find because our culture is a mess. On that we most definitely agree. 🙂

      And last, but not least, I’m not interested in arguing over the pros and cons of feminism or its definition. That wasn’t the point of this episode. We likely don’t agree and that’s okay. We can discuss over a good meal in the future! If you have examples of great men, regardless of whether or not they call themselves feminist, that is on topic and I’d love to hear them.


  2. I learned about the book “Non Violent Communications” at (of all places) an AWS training class about a year or so ago. Much of the week’s discussion was how to propose the various AWS / devops / “cloud” services to customers without alienating IT workers who might feel threatened. A fellow student recommended the book, I read it, and was really impressed with the insight and examples in there.


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